Depressed is the new black

Dare I look at myself in the glass to view, what a mess I have turned into? I look and see a figure that could be me, and I must confess that down and depressed fits me best. Dark and alone in this big cold home, that was once my castle,tall and full of laughter. After some time it was no long sublime and depression became my captor. He grabbed me up and my crown fell to the ground, then without my permission my castle became my prison. No matter what people do or say I cannot seem to get away. Encouraging words and genuine love is out there but, mean, twisted, harsh words is all I hear in my mind. I am afraid that some day the sadness wont leave and I will never return to me. Instead of looking for help, I sit alone with myself. Weak and frail, ugly and vile, worthless and broken, thoughts that I start to believe in. There was once happiness and confidence, now replaced with hate and loneliness. Eventually the depression cycle will end and I will return to me again.

Bleeding happiness

Depression strikes like a cobra with fangs lodged deep and venom flowing like a river in my arms to my heart and all I want to do is cut it out of me so I can feel happy again.

From chaos to sanity

My mind wonders from the depths of chaos to the edge of sanity.

I can do nothing but hope that the journey helps me develop myself further as a whole.

The many pieces that make up the mosaic that is Martha is a jumbles mess of the happy, sad, mad, glad, terribly, horrifically, wonderful mayhem that is I.

Art aspects

Will She, that's struggling with schizophrenia and her art, which she see's as the only way into her heart, ever be herd or understood by thous deemed by society as normal that has condemned her or us or me or we as okay to be free?

Instead of joked about or looked at in a different aspect like some dumb bloke.

There IS power and beauty behind my art. If you can't see it you are simply blind to genius, abstract, innovative, dreams.

Sunny Marty Real estate Marketing!

Sunny Marty Real estate Marketing.

Depending on the day she will choose who to lay with and play with and
LOVE
It is a liquid thing that is ever changing. It and you will never be the same after.
 As for thous who can't  understand or play its quite a shame.
People no matter there age or personality can be perfect for her as long as she can see them belonging completely to her.
 After all she cant wait to give them "all" of her time.
Just be cautious, cause seeing is done not with the eyes but with the mind.
For it is more AND less kind, because it does not see the same lies.

Passerby's determination of me when I am dressed up in this dressed down dreadful dairy state of stupidity...

All dressed up like a stupid little slut!

Look at her luscious red lips, just begging to be bit and kissed.

She wears her clothes taut so you know how she likes to be grabbed and clutched.

Lest we forget that string of cheap pearls around her neck, says she likes when you choke her until her whore blue eyes water.

And those tights so tight across that ass and what an ass it is. Perfect to slap and spank and kiss and bite and fuck.

Oh that dirty little cunt!

Strut my way in your high heels of coquette confidence, so I can give you what you are showing everyone you obviously want.

I am not a true blogger!

So this whole blogging thing... How bout that. I still am a little unsure about it. The only real reason I started was so I could show this dude that I was in to him by posting all kinds of nice thing about his site on my site and blog about it. Well that didn't really work out. So, I am going to try and do it for other reasons. The reasons are still unknown to me but so far just being able to talk/type what is on my mind fees pretty damn good. I have no idea what I will talk about. But this is not a site for the faint of heart, young, or religious. I am a blatant ass in person, and don't feel like changing on MY blog. Just saying! So some of the topics that may appear on this will be Bikes, Porn, Hate, ADHD, Reefer, Sodomy, big words you may have to Google, personal problems that I just want to bitch about, and stuff I type about in my sleep. I will also randomly put up pictures cause that will drawl in readers. I mean really a good looking girl that likes to shoot, ride bikes, snowboard, ride horses, and other active stuff makes people want to read/see more. Oh and I will also add, since this is not a published book, school paper, or paper for work I will not put too much thought in to spelling, grammar, or word usage. I am too ADD for that, and just don't care. So yeah. I think I am done for the day but who the hell knows, I may be back in a few minuets bitching about how my boyfriends youngest daughter never listening.