Soiled summer, Hello September

The sharp September poison is pouring into my veins and so marks the start of my dark turning. The stone cold  alone  winter will come and whisk away my friends. For isolation is my new fixation and lugubriousness my tea.

Depressed is the new black

Dare I look at myself in the glass to view, what a mess I have turned into? I look and see a figure that could be me, and I must confess that down and depressed fits me best. Dark and alone in this big cold home, that was once my castle,tall and full of laughter. After some time it was no long sublime and depression became my captor. He grabbed me up and my crown fell to the ground, then without my permission my castle became my prison. No matter what people do or say I cannot seem to get away. Encouraging words and genuine love is out there but, mean, twisted, harsh words is all I hear in my mind. I am afraid that some day the sadness wont leave and I will never return to me. Instead of looking for help, I sit alone with myself. Weak and frail, ugly and vile, worthless and broken, thoughts that I start to believe in. There was once happiness and confidence, now replaced with hate and loneliness. Eventually the depression cycle will end and I will return to me again.

Bleeding happiness

Depression strikes like a cobra with fangs lodged deep and venom flowing like a river in my arms to my heart and all I want to do is cut it out of me so I can feel happy again.

You and how you're being yourself...

I was told tonight "maybe you embrace yourself the wrong way". What? I sit here not quite sure how to feel. I know nothing. Fuck, I don't know how to be me at this point. So, the question becomes, who shall play the part of Martha? I can't imagine. Is it a hard role or an easily overthought role? What is it that I can't comprehend about myself?

Shocking ones conscience and forcing your uneasiness onto others.

How can someone tell me I have embarrassed myself? I mean, sure I might act out and not get the results I was hoping for, but that just means I have experienced an unsuccessful reaction to my actions. Yet, go back to, how can someone tell me I have embarrassed myself? How does one know if the reaction that comes forth from my actions is not exactly what I wanted? 

Morose Moser

I am stuck here. Glued to my meaty seat.

I don't dare to leave because, that means I can and will be deceived.

Not that I have not tried, for if I said I had not, now that would be a lie.

I am so depressed, I am too depressed to take my antidepressants and because I am so depressed my 

face will never be caressed by the love and affection because of my affliction.

Damn this sadness, for it is a SAD excuse, yet it troubles me so ... So much so I sometimes just cry and say on to myself WOW...

I don't want to die I just want to be free, to be me, and silly and dilly dally in the things known as life, whilst only dabbling in the things like reality and seriousness. 

The only thing good about this dreadfully melancholy poison is its the most dependable aspect of me.

How sad.

Sunny Marty Real estate Marketing!

Sunny Marty Real estate Marketing.

Depending on the day she will choose who to lay with and play with and
LOVE
It is a liquid thing that is ever changing. It and you will never be the same after.
 As for thous who can't  understand or play its quite a shame.
People no matter there age or personality can be perfect for her as long as she can see them belonging completely to her.
 After all she cant wait to give them "all" of her time.
Just be cautious, cause seeing is done not with the eyes but with the mind.
For it is more AND less kind, because it does not see the same lies.